Journal Five-Christine Mailey

                                                               

                                                               Trust  Reclaimed


Ishmael starts to trust again.  This is difficult for him to do after being stripped of it, because of the war.  He had previously been treated by a nurse named Esther at the hospital.  Although they had not met formally, Ishmael sees her again months later and it was though they were meeting for the first time.  He describes her appearance in great detail.  She offers him a Coca-Cola, this is quite a treat for the young boys who are living at the rehabilitation home.  She tells him to come by and talk to her anytime.  So without delay Ishmael goes to the office to see her and Esther insists they become friends.  Ishmael is reluctant to trust anyone, but he feels comfortable with Esther.

A few days after their first conversation, Ishmael returns to Esther's office.  She gives him a present, when he opens it he discovers it is a Walkman.  He is so excited he hugs Esther.  He begins to listen to the music.  Esther is able to examine Ishmael.  She discovers his physical wounds, and asks about them.  He explains they are from bullets.  He begins to tell Esther the whole story of the war.  He thinks by telling her this she will not ask anymore questions of him.  After hearing Ishmael's story, Esther had tears in her eyes.  She tells him, "None of what happened was your fault.  You were just a little boy, and anytime you want to tell me anything, I am here to listen"(pg.160).

Ishmael is still experiencing nightmares and migraines.  This prompts Esther to have him seen by a doctor in the city of Freetown.  Esther has Leslie, who is a field worker for the CAW (Children Associated with the War), to drive herself, Ishmael and his friend Alhaji to Freetown.  The boys were always excited to travel into the city. 


Esther and Ishmael continue their meetings and talks.  He is able to confide in her because he does not feel judgment from her.  This is a breakthrough for Ishmael.  If it were not for Esther, Ishmael may not have been rehabilitated and able to experience civilian life again.

I believe it is important for all of us to have someone we are able to confide in.  Our lives become very complex at times and we even have feelings of desperation.  It helps to talk through it, and in turn helps our situation.  Although, our troubles may not compare to Ishmael's, none the less, it may be devastating through our perspective.

"That that doesn't kill you, makes you stronger".