Monday, February 15, 2016
Journal 5- One Step Forward from Miguel
Ishmael has been in recovery for a few months at the start of the chapter. He is obviously starting to realize that he will not be going back to war no matter how much he wants to. They start showing some of the humanity returning to these boys. After the nurse brings Ishmael a coke, Ishmael and Alhaji flirt with the idea that she may like Ishmael. He quickly puts that idea out by saying "I don't think she likes me the way you are thinking about it. (152)" I think that even if she did like him he still had a distrust for her. She spends a lot of time in the chapter trying to get to know Ishmael. She doesn't force him to talk. She does a great deal for him, to bond with him in a manner he hadn't had since before the war. She took him to Freetown and bought him gifts. She bought him a walkman with a Run DMC cassette which allowed him to start to ease into his past. He remembered about how he used to sing and dance with his friends before the war. The music allows him to start trusting her. He shares a lot of detailed information with Esther, the nurse, of the ordeals that he had been through with the Army. How he had gotten wounded in the war. He shared with her some of the vivid information of the atrocities that he committed as a child soldier. At the end of the chapter he takes the first step forward to recovery. He tells esther about his dream about his family. After Esther tells him none of these things one last time he finally is starting to believe it. He writes, I began that day to believe it...That didn't make me immune for the guilt that I felt for what I had done. Nonetheless, it lightened my burdensome memories and gave me strength to think about things. This chapter is the true start to his recovery. He finally starts to be human again, he is the tinman who found his heart.