We as human beings hold onto so many things throughout the course of our lifetime. Whether these things we hold onto are our self, the people around us, places we've been, memories of life experiences or even the good/the bad times in our life. Now what is being held onto will vary individually between us. As a result, this adds a spice of variety to us and our lives. The point that I'm trying to make is that we decide what we want to hold onto or let go of and this helps shape who we are.
I'm no different from anybody else in a sense that there are many things I want to hold onto in my life. However, the one thing that I want to hold onto the most in my life are my memories. It was hard for me say this because it makes me feel horrible for choosing my memories over everything else. But the reason that I want to hold onto my memories the most is because by holding onto to them I'm indirectly holding onto my life, the people that I care about, and the other many important events that shaped who I am and will become along with my life. My mind is like a DVD player and my memories are like the DVDs. I can relive all the good times along with the bad times from my life. I can recall all the good things that I have done along with all the mistakes I have made. Most importantly I can always remember the people that I care the most about and keep them with me forever.
I especially want to hold onto all of the good memories from my life. Whenever I'm feeling down and want to just give up on life I think back to all the good times I've had. There is one good memory that I often find myself looking back on. My graduation.
[It was on a nice day in the month of May. The sun was halfway shining out of the clouds. There was a slight breeze from the wind. I walked in my gown, while it flowed around my body. My mom pulled to the side before we entered the building. She told me, “Matthew I am so proud of you and I love you!” and I responded, “Thank you mom and I love you too!”. I soon found the room in which we all were to wait in until the graduation ceremony was to begin. I then came across one of my two best friends, Bradley Ernsberger. I questioned, “Hey man how's it going?” to which he responded, “It's going good but I can't wait til we're finally free.” and I laughed in agreement. So we talked for a bit about our plans for after the graduation ceremony until it was show time. We all lined up in two rows while being in the order from our practice graduations. We then marched to the two doors of the gymnasium, then one by one walked in, walked to meet each other in the middle, turn and walk down the aisle, and then finally took our seats. As the principal droned on with his speech I couldn't help but look around at my family and friends and think how about how I lucky I was. That was when I noticed my other best friend Cody Reinhart. He texted me early to inform me that he wouldn't be able to make it, but there he was. The principal then called everyone up one by one to shake hands and bestow their `diploma´. After everything was said and done I received my real diploma from the office. I then hung around with my family along with my friends at the school to chat, take pictures, et cetera until it was time to part ways.]
I will forever hold onto that memory and never let go. It was a good time spent with my family and friends. Even though it meant writing a new chapter in my life I was happy with that day.
In all honesty, yes, I even want to hold onto the bad memories from my life. The thing with bad memories is that they can either help you push forward or they can pull you back. It just depends on who you are and how you deal with them. For me I look back at the bad memories and use them as barriers. I can remember plenty of bad memories from my life. Let's just say most of them involve outside family hurting my immediate family and people turning their backs on me. As a result I'm choosy about who I trust. I know there are people out there who mean well but after dealing with people who've hurt me and my family for so long I try not to set myself up by being too willing to trust people just to turn around and get hurt.
So those are but one of my good memories along with a wrap up of my bad memories. I believe that it's important to hold onto our memories, both good and bad, because they are moments from our lives that shape who we are.